[shivaness]

I turned 20 year old 3 months ago and I'm 8 months pregnant. I've always had issues with my mom about life in general but during my last 2 months of pregnancy...I've never been so depressed because of my mom. Several issues involve this and they're all because of my boyfriend.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we love each other deeply. We used to live at our parents house when we started out and a few months later we got kicked out for different reasons. I wasn't going to school or working and mom got fed up and kicked me out. His parents kicked him out because he didn't pay them the money for a car THEY bought after some time. His parents had been taking his money ever since he started working, every paycheck they'd take half of his money to pay off a car they bought and take his yearly tax return while leaving him with nothing for himself. His parents never bought him anything when he was younger ( He's 25 now ), so he spoiled himself with everything he wanted and built up debt. After getting kicked out, I lived in his car for a month and he stayed with me but sneaked me into his house for a daily shower and left me money so I could eat while he worked. Later on his co-worker offered to take us into her home and he had to stop paying his cards to be able to pay the 300 dollar rent, food and transportation for both. Some time later I found out that I was pregnant and mom offered for both of us to stay at her home and we did.

The only rule was: Keep the house clean. We did, we kept out room clean and we always did the dishes. Eventually at some point in time mom began to get irritated by his laziness, uncleanliness and abusiveness. Don't know why she thought he was lazy when he worked everyday and came home to clean up the room before relaxing and going to sleep. Uncleanliness because he didn't shower everyday ( He didn't shower everyday but he never went more than 2 days without showering. ), she found FEW strands of his hair in the bathroom, living room, kitchen and complained about him needing to get a shampoo because FEW strands of hair were falling from him. Abusive because due to debt piling up ( The debt collectors would take money from his bank weekly because he hadn't continued paying them.), the last 2 weeks he was here he didn't have ANY money for transportation while using the bus and I told him to take some of mom's tokens and loose change, BUT he had to pay her back and he was fine with it. Mom found out and got mad because he was taking money from her without asking. It was wrong, he apologized but my mom and him don't have any sort of relationship at all so he was uncomfortable even trying to talk to her and he knew mom really disliked him. It's either he asked her for money for transportation and be denied OR get the money and pay her back. Of course he took the money/tokens and DID pay her back once he got his paycheck. We had a talk about ALL of this and my boyfriend confronted her about it and apologized.

My boyfriend has no close/best friends at all, his parents don't really support him unless he pays them so he had NO ONE to turn to. The next day when he got kicked out and he moved his stuff from his home, we went to his house and his parents were already cleaning out his room as if making the room vacant and no one was living there. I was there to see this and from the several months I had been with him and gone to his house, his parents seemed like they didn't really like me because I was of a different race. He's Filipino and I'm Latino. Being a witness to all of this I told my mom about it and she thinks I'm lying and he's using all of that to manipulate me. This angers me heavily. I can't tell her ANYTHING positive about him or tell her anything about him because she always says "I know he's manipulating you and you're defending him but you need to open your eyes". HOW can he be manipulating me when I was THERE when all of this happened? Now because of all of this my boyfriend sleeps in the car right around the corner of my house, is stressed and mom doesn't even want to know about him, see him or have him come over at all.

I cry everyday, sometimes think of killing myself because of the baby and think nothing good has come out of being pregnant. I was SO happy living with him. I was working and getting paid so we could live together and became very responsible. Now I'm here, mom takes care of me and I have everything but my boyfriend. Mom has very high standards for EVERYONE and it bothers me because she thinks that my boyfriend isn't for me because he's manipulative. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is looking for a second job to get more money and we're gonna move out to our own place next month...until then I'm going to continue being depressed and defenseless because of all the negativity from mom. I really don't know what to do...

This is the reason why she's alone and none of my sisters ever stay long with her. They eventually get irritated of her ways and simply leave. They're all in their 30's, a husband and children...I'm only 20, have a boyfriend and soon a child...and I'm suffering by just staying here under the same roof with her. I cry even as I type this...