[einahpets_c]

before i ask the real question, i think i ought to give everyone some background info on my relationship.

so currently i am in a committed relationship and i have two "step children", ages 5 and 6. the beginning of their lives was pretty unstable, largely in part to their mother who has no sense of time or family management. since i have been taking care of the household and family, i have laid down a routine and reinforced the laws that my "husband" set. now usually he has no problem with new tactics or things that make family management easier... but lately we have been disagreeing on bedtime.

now, to me, once the kids are in their beds and they have been tucked in, that's it. there shouldn't be any getting up and wandering around or wanting to chit chat with mom and dad.

my husband, on the other hand, gives into them when they come out of their beds for extra cuddling and hugs. he only reminds them to get into bed when i remind him.

i completely understand that these kids are a bit insecure and they need more attention, it seems, than other kids i know. but am i wrong to tell my husband, no, this is our time, and unless the kids really need something, we shouldn't let them infringe upon it?

i feel like i have no time away from the kids. they wake up when we wake up and go to sleep when we do, even though i have a set bedtime that is well before ours. it's taking it's toll on me and my relationship with the kids and with my hubby. and sometimes i feel guilty and feel like i'm depriving them of something, but i've been reading articles that defend my case.

so, is there any advice or comments anyone has? i'd also like to point out that, while he is lenient about bedtime, my husband is pretty strict and non-nonsense when it comes to other areas. and if you have any questions or i need to make something more clear, don't hesitate to ask... i need the help!!

thanks