[jgreene]

Have any of you decided to sleep with your newborn? I have two children, and I am still sharing my bed with my second child, who is 16 months old. I was too afraid (for safety reasons) to sleep with my first baby. (She slept in a bassinette by my bed up to 4 months and then she moved to a crib in a separate room.) I have found that bed-sharing is much easier for breast-feeding. I also feel that I am experiencing more of my baby's life...precious sleep-sharing time is a very sweet thing. Does anyone have any safety tips for co-sleeping? Also, what about tips on how to move a toddler to his/her own bed?

[poojaA]

Hi,
Im sharing a bed with my 17 month old daughter and have done so from the day she was born. It was a bit scary in the beginning because I was worried about squashing her but now its really comfortable.

The one thing we have done is pushed our bed up against the wall on two sides so that there's no way she can roll off in the night.

Also, Im planning to move her into her own bed BUT in our room. We're getting another smaller bed put for her which will also accomodate me. Im going to start giving her daytime naps in her own bed. Once she's comfortable with that I intend to put her to sleep in her own bed. We are prepared that I may have to sleep with her on her bed initially but should be able to move back to my own bed in a couple of weeks or so.

My husband is not really going to be part of this moving process other than tucking our girl in and staying in our bed. Will keep you posted on how it goes!

[babydawn]

I just read an article in Child magazine about this issue. I have never really had too much of an opinion before, until I had my second child. I was breastfeeding him and it was so much easier for me to just put him in bed with me and go back to sleep while he ate. Then one night, my husband rolled on top of him, and it seemed to me what seemed like a lifetime before I got him out (it was probably only a matter of a few seconds, as he wasn't blue when I finially pulled him out). It scared me....a lot. But still, I've done it occasionally off and on (very occasionally, 1-2 times every six months or so) with all of my babies. Back to the article I read today. It was scary! It talked about the dangers of an infant in bed with the parents, basically what you are talking about here, so I thought that I would post some of the statistics in this article....

"Between 1990 and 1997, there were 515 suffocation deaths in the U.S. of children younger than 2 who slept in an adult bed, according to a study by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). Of those 394 occurred when a child becoame entrapped in the bed, and 121 happened when a parent, other adult, or sibling rolled on top of the baby...
"A child that is between the ages of 3-6 months can become wedged between the mattress and the wall, headboard, or footboard, and at that age she doesn't have the muscle development or motor control to free herself....
"Medical examiners now say that the majority of SIDS deaths are among babies who share a bed with their parents.....what's more, while putting a baby to sleep on his back has long been known to protect against SIDS, it doesn't seem to make a difference when it comes to bed-sharing. In a 2003 study by Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, nearly half the babies who died while sleeping in bed with their parents were found on their backs or their sides." Child, October 2005, "Going Undercover About Co-Sleeping" 106

I must add that there were many opinions from mothers who have long since used this practice supporting it in the article...the problem, they were opinions and not statistics...it would just take one tragedy to change their minds. I didn't realize all of the risks involved and as I said before, it was never anything I really had a strong opinion on one way or another...until I read this.

[GmaKathy06]

Does anyone have a copy of that article? I have been trying to locate one for several days. If you do and can email it to me, I would really appreciate it. I do a lot of research on SIDS.
Thanks

[babydawn]

I do have a copy of the ariticle, however, I don't have a scanner so I don't know how I could email it to you. I would be happy to tear the pages out and snail mail them to you, if you wanted to give me your address and you don't find that creepy at all. Let me know. I am guessing that in a couple of months you will be able to get if off of the child.com article archives section, but it isn't on there yet, I checked. I hope I can help you out. Talk to you soon.

[pattiewrites]

I have done the family bed thing with all three of my children. We currently still get nightime visits from one if not all three of them. Co sleeping can be done safely. Dr. Sears has written alot on this subject. Some of the safety tips include no large pillows, no comforters or heavy blankets, no drugs (legal or otherwise), no alcohol as these can impair your abilty to respond to baby. Also, it's better if baby sleeps between Mommy and the wall, rather than between Daddy and Mommy. For some reason, Daddies are less aware of baby. Another option is to use a cosleeper that attaches to the side of your bed with an opening on your side and enclosed on the other three sides. My sister in law uses this. We are expecting baby #4 in July and a cosleeper is the only gift I really want. This is because the other three sometimes come in during the night and that makes me nervous. Cosleeping is a controversial issue and remains a personal choice. There is research that suggests that babies that sleep with Mommy actually have a lower risk of SIDS. Dr Sears writes about this in his book, which I think is called "The Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting" The reason is that baby regulates her breathing to Mommy's and it actually "reminds" her to breathe. I chose the family bed because my girls all breastfed several times throughout the night and it left me completely exhausted by morning. I tried the cry it out thing once, but gave it up after my daughter vomited all over herself and the crib. She was so hysterical it took me 45 minutes to calm her down. It depends on the temperment of the baby and the preference of the parents.

[nicki]

Originally Posted by babydawn

I must add that there were many opinions from mothers who have long since used this practice supporting it in the article...the problem, they were opinions and not statistics...it would just take one tragedy to change their minds. I didn't realize all of the risks involved and as I said before, it was never anything I really had a strong opinion on one way or another...until I read this.

For another view with a lot of scientific references and statistics that you might be interested in pursuing, I would suggest the book Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed (And a Peaceful Night's
Sleep) by Jay Gordon, MD
Dr. Gordon has been studying shared sleep much longer than it's been "en vogue" and the book is an excellent read. It actually dispells a lot of the myths and "science" in the Child article and, if nothing else, is a good food for thought counter-argument to a lot of the scare tactics we hear about the family bed, including those in the article.
Of course nothing can drive safety close to home like a scary experience of one's own but by sharing sleep in an educated way, you actually reduce the liklihood of SIDS, accidental death and, of lesser importance, sleep problems that commonly occur in families who sleep apart. It's fascinating!

[pattiewrites]

Originally Posted by nicki

For another view with a lot of scientific references and statistics that you might be interested in pursuing, I would suggest the book Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed (And a Peaceful Night's
Sleep) by Jay Gordon, MD
Dr. Gordon has been studying shared sleep much longer than it's been "en vogue" and the book is an excellent read. It actually dispells a lot of the myths and "science" in the Child article and, if nothing else, is a good food for thought counter-argument to a lot of the scare tactics we hear about the family bed, including those in the article.
Of course nothing can drive safety close to home like a scary experience of one's own but by sharing sleep in an educated way, you actually reduce the liklihood of SIDS, accidental death and, of lesser importance, sleep problems that commonly occur in families who sleep apart. It's fascinating!

I agree completely. There are over 3000 SIDS deaths per year in the US and nearly all happen in another room, away from the parents. The 500 deaths in the 90s, while tragic, are not SIDS, but an accidental death. Rollover is an accidental, but explainable death. SIDS is an unexplainable death, where the baby stops breathing for an unknown reason. The studies quoted by Dr Sears in his book also point out that SIDS is actually less prevalent in babies that sleep with their mothers, as long as the proper precautions are taken to reduce suffocation.
Last year, a family in our church experienced a tragedy that made me so grateful we sleep with our babies. The house caught fire in the middle of the night. The mother, pregnant with her fourth baby, could only rescue one of her other children. The fire was blocking her path to the other 2 and they were lost. She was badly burned as a result of her rescue attempt and was hospitalized for a long time. For every scary anti family bed story you read, you can find another tragedy that could have been averted with the family bed, such as fires, kidnappings, etc.

[kireland]

When we brought our four-pound preemie home, I let him sleep on my chest. I reclined in bed and woke up pretty much whenever he moved. I don't think I slept well for six months! But there was no worry about him dying alone in another room, either.

Now, my boy is three years old, a chatterbox, and very active. He still goes to sleep cuddling with Mommy, althogh now in his own bed. I spend the night with him more often than I expected to at this stage, but I'm so glad we decided to share our nights. DH and I are both so attuned to his moods and what he needs. I'm convinced he's happier because of it, and I'm so grateful to Dr. Sears for making me feel safe to try it.

[shazbo]

im sorry dont believe in sharing beds with babys. in a cot next to the bed have a cuddle then put then to rest in there own space . humans toss and turn a number of times in night you dont stop in one place . any thing could happen . then you would be questioning your self why . irrasponsible . its never happened to me but i have read about it plenty of times . have you ever fell asleep reading a book and it drops out your hand that could be a baby