[nanajoanne]

People often ask me how i have managed to stay married to my husband for 30 yrs. After all, we are only 45 and 46 yrs old. We have been together ever since. We have been through so much together and still survived. Most couples can not get through half of what we have endured without breaking up.
We have had to face numerous miscarriages over the years, deaths in the family and friends. I was diagnosed at the age of 19 with breast cancer the first time. I have given birth to two live preemies, and i have battled uterine cancer. I had a hysterectomy at the age of 36 due to cancer. I had a full mastectomy due to cancer a couple of years ago and have battled the breast cancer on and off for years. When i was facing the mastectomy, the first thing that terrified me was not the disease, the surgery or any treatment that may follow, i was afraid that my husband may be one of those men who ran because of it. I was very very wrong. They only thing that that gorgeous and gentle man feared was the possibility of loosing me. He did not care what i looked like. In fact, when the bandages first came off before i started the steps to have my chest reconstructed i was the one that passed out. He told me, that as far as he was concerned, i was beautiful without having reconstruction. He refers to my scars as a badge of honor. Me? I still find it hard to look at myself in the mirror and hide my chest constantly. He wishes i would stop but i guess its me. We own a business together and i enjoy every second that i spend with him working. I am also a Paralegal, and i hate every second of it. Why do i do it? Because it helps me to collect from our customers who may have a desire to ignore our invoices. My husband also felt that i would be great at it. i was struck by a car. It was a hit and run. My poor husband helped me to recover from it and nursed me back to health. The injuries were so bad that i had a stroke and i had to learn to talk, walk, and do everything all over again. He was my life line and still is. Why am i telling you all this, because every so often i think its important to give our men the due they deserve. We survived all this and more because we were patient, loving, kind and considerate with each other. We have never judged each other nor have we told each other what to do or what not to do. I do not expect him to ask me if he can go out with his friends, or golfing, fishing etc. He is a adult, im sure he can make that decision. I am not expected to answer to him either. Most couples have the wife yanking the chain so to speak, the best way to keep a marriage healthy is to treat each other as you would expect to be treated. One person should never be in control.

[MissyChrissy]

I love your post! First-let me say My Gosh to all you have endured. I cannot fathom what it must have been like...I'm so happy you have persevered.

Second-I like what you put in there about how your relationship has lasted. I feel exactly the same way-I often laugh at other women who complain about their husband's hobbies & simply state, "boys have their toys!" I know when my dh is out hunting, he's happy. He's not getting drunk & chasing skirts-so I'm fine with it! lol

One pet peeve of mine-and I'm sure you've witnessed it too-is a nagging wife. ESPECIALLY those who cannot contain themselves in the store. I always think to myself, "She's going to nag him right away from her." No man can tolerate constantly being told what to do-and in a tone of voice like she's scolding a child! Ugh! I HATE that!!!! "You never..." "You need to..." "Why don't you ever..." along with the heavy sigh. Like he's an idiot. Oh-I could go on and on...and I hear it almost every week when I'm out shopping. I don't know how the guy doesn't just leave her whining butt in the store (and sadly-it's not only one couple...it's almost every other couple in there!)

You're inspiring. I LOVE hearing stories from couples who have "made it" I feel certain in my heart my dh & I will be together "forever" (we've lived together for 15 years now, and it's 12 years marriage this summer). I like to hear from other couples that have lasted so I can make sure we're on the right track. So far, so good

Marriage is awesome. Men are wonderful. Far too often they're portrayed as slobs who cannot function without their wife. That's a folly-and I despise that attitude.

[QueenAngie]

Love hearing your stories about your marriage.
It takes a definite commitment to stay married and in love with the same person.

My goodness - you have had so many surgeries and injuries - you must have
had a guardian angel closeby particularly with the hit & run story.

God Bless you and DH!

[rudkovich]

I think you must have needed somebody to get through all that! Lod knows I need my wife just to get through the week sometimes. There is no stronger unit that a man and woman together.

[chio88]

Most couples have the wife yanking the chain so to speak, the best way to keep a marriage healthy is to treat each other as you would expect to be treated. One person should never be in control.
---so totally true

[jmmv08]

It's nice to hear your stories. You've a very inspiring marriage relationship. I do admire you.