[Angel038]

This is hard for me to talk about let alone share with millions of people. But going to try to make it as short and sweet and hope to get responses. I met my ex husband when I was 14. We dated for 6 yrs before we got married. Within those yrs he has lied, cheated and emotionally abused me. I finally divorced him but I have these jealousy issues and have always in relationships after that. I cant trust and whenever a pretty woman is near or a b/f talks to or meets, I get a rage inside. I am currently in a 5 yr relationship now and in the begining my bf now has lied to me and went and met a girl from online but nothing physical went on which she told me all about it and thats how I found out. Well, it was my computer he used and i found her name and instant messeged her. Anyways, I forgave him but cant forget and he still lied after that about chatting online in yahoo to others and I saw emails that were inappropriate and such. When we moved here to nc 3 months ago i found yahoo again on his laptop and he lied and said he did not chat but found them on it. I am at the point where now again i am going into rages when he leaves to do racing on a crew team or when a female goes by, i think he is staring and I get upset. I want this feeling to stop and I am actually on the verge of moving out but dont want to but i dont know how to conrtol it so I run away from it and back to single life to avoid it. Does or has anyone ever felt like this and if so how do you control it or fix it or should I just end it? I know he loves me, but if he truly cared and did, then why the need to look elsewhere. I will ruin any relationship I am in because of my jealousy. thank you so much.