[peke267]

I have some trust issues that really effect my relationship. The last 2 relationships I had, both men had been stringing me along and cheating. Never ended it with me, just kept deceiving me. I suspected both times, investigated a little, and found them both out. Both relationships were about 4 & 8 months. I have now been dating someone new for the past 4 months who seems to be very honest with me but I can't seem to completely trust him. I know not all men are the same but I get immediately insecure when he mentions that he called his ex-wife (they share the dog) to make sure she picked up the dog, or if I dont' hear from him or he says he has something else planned, I think the worse, that he is lying and there's someone else. He keeps telling me he loves me, there's no one else, he wants to be upfront and honest always but so did the others so it's killing me that my insecurity may ruin this relationship because I would rather break it off then worry about it constantly which is a lonely life. The one thing that started this was he met someone on-line before me and claims he doesn't keep in touch but when he let me use his phone the other night, her number was on there as and "outgoing" call so the next day I casually asked if he's contacted her and he said no. I'm hoping he just called her to say hello and didn't want to start an argument so I let it go. The other thing is that he erases all text message, incoming and outgoing so it's making me uneasy now. I'm thinking it's me.

[Possibility_girl]

there is alot you need to look at here. first, who are you that they cheeted, now im not saying that its your fault at all, but were you pushing them away in any way, did you trust from the start, did you withdraw yourself from the beginning and not realize it?you need to be honest with yourself if you want to move on, second, mabey you have a pattern of finding guys that cheat, why? dont live in past relationships. dont not trust because of what happened, all you will do is push him away too, you wont be open and giving of youreself for fear of being hurt and he will sence that and move on. also, dont be afraid to fight, i made that mistake, i dont mean accuse but sit down and talk to him, be honest with him, tell him what you are feeling, tell him too that you don not want him talking to her, the x is different, but lay down your rules and play by them, what do you want for your relationship? let him know you are not going to be stepped on. dont be mrs nice guy, dont be B^#^ either but be firm in what you need. just keep being honest with him, and live in the now, not in the past relationships

[gaby12]

The thing about looking at phones, is that the outgoing call could have been a mistaken touch of the screen and a quick hangup resulted in no phone call. So with your trust issues, you are doing the right thing by "getting questions out there". then if you find yourself building that wall, you should do something about it.

[browneyes01]

i think if you really care about this person you should try to put your trust issues aside and your right not everyman is the same and if he says yuohave nothingt o worry about maybe you should try to relax a little and just let things happen 4 months is to soon to me to be exspecting the world from someone. just let time tell

[browneyes01]

just checking up to see how things are going