[Julia_C]

Hi there,

I'm just wondering if any of you out there are in my same sitaution.

I have been a member of the LDS church all my life and very active for the most part. My husband and I got married in the temple almost three years ago. It was a traumatic experience for me, but that's another posting.

This las year he has decided the church isn't for him and is considering removing his name from the records. That (and my hard temple experience) has thrown my beliefs into a tail-spin. He wants to have more "family time" and less church time. He only wants to do church if he can be perfect (feel good about wearing garments, not have an occasional beer). I feel like going to church strengthens us even though I"m in no way perfect. He's okay with me taking the kids to church, but would rather us be home or doing an activity with him. I really don't know what to do.

I feel out of touch with the "spirit" and sometimes want to give up on church too. Has anyone else gone through this? I thought by now I'd all my beliefs in order, but I honestly dont' know what to think...

Thanks for listening...

Julia

[MiaCamille]

Hi!
I can't say that i've been in that situation but i believe in live and let live if he doesn't want to go that's fine, if you want to go with the kids that's fine too, i admire the fact that it's ok for him if you do bring the kids, maybe you can come to a compromise and maybe go to church every other week and spend time with him and your kids the other week? Believing in god is in your heart not where you practice it.... it's just a suggestion... Good luck.

[Mim23]

Julia,

It is normal for your testimony to go up and down. I think a lot has to do with how much time you are putting into maintaining it. It can be extremely difficult to do this when your dh is struggling as well.

My dh is struggling with how much he feels is expected of him when he goes to church. I think and he admits at times that it is related to guilt of not doing everything that is expected of him--home teaching and scout committee wise. Plus he is super nice and doesn't know how to say no when people ask. I am fortunate to know that deep down he would never stop going to church.

If you haven't talked to someone (a church leader) about your experience at the temple. Then I would take the time to do that. They can help you resolve any feelings that you may have.

Meanwhile, you can always pray to have a confirmation of the truth. You may consider rereading the Book of Mormon and following Moroni's challenge. It is important to take time each day to nurture your testimony. This means reading and pondering the scriptures. It also means sincere prayer.

I've had times when I feel out of touch as well. I know that it is something with me, that I need to work on. As I refocus on my scripture study and prayer, I find that these moments of doubt and worry seem to slide away.

As for your marriage, it is important to respect your dh's decisions. Try to find more time to spend as a family together. Maybe skip ward activities or see if he would go to them with you, since they aren't as churchy. Also if you are in a really busy calling, I would talk to the bishop about the strain it is putting on your relationship with your dh and see what he suggests.

Good luck,

Miriam

[Julia_C]

Hi there,

Thanks for the advice. I apprecaite the reponses. I guess the hardest thing for me is that at the time (when we got married) he basically made promises to me that we would work together on church etc. I know people change. It's sometimes hard to accept.

I have talked to the bishop about the temple problems, but because of some very disturbing and sad circumstances I do not feel comfortable talking to him again.

I know the worshiping God is mainly in your heart. I just feel pulled in different directions....

Thanks again for listening!!
Julia