[JWALKER327]

Here is the "short" of the situation if you will. I have 3 children, one boy ( he is not my hubbies but DH has raised him since he was 8months old and he ONLY knows him as daddy) & two girls with my hubby.
Well as we all know school is starting soon. Well my mother n law said she was going to buy Trinity ( my 1st child with my hubby her 2nd girl grandchild) her school clothes. I should have said something, but to know her, she says things and never fufills them. So, this weekend she called my hubby and said she got Trinity ALL her school clothes & was going to get her shoes next weekend. This TICKED me off, ( we need the help don't get me wrong as I lost my job in May & would be thankful to take them BUT) she got NOTHING for our son who is in school too. I don't care if she didn't get him as much as her, but she could have gotten him a pair of shorts & a shirt. He'd just be happy she got him something! So, this started a HUGE & I mean HUGE fight with my hubby & me, and him calling her just being down right nasty & talking nasty about me. I feel that was wrong, that he should have WAITED til we came to an agreement on how we would say something to her.

Now he left & will not talk to me. I don't know what to do. Do I say sorry for taking up for our son? I just feel if my hubby has the responiblity of my son his family should treat him no different, as he is Daddy to him & knows no different. Should I call her? I just don't know what to say? She has helped us so much & I am very greatful for her help, but I cannot watch this happen anylonger. His 4th birthday she never showed up to his birthday party BUT she came to Trinity's party. Since that year my kids no longer have a party, because I REFUSE to have my kids hurt like that. My hubby says she "favors" girls but our youngest is a girl & she does HER the same way. My hubby's brother has the same problem with her favoring his little girl over his boy & my husband said NOW he just did to her what his brother did & hurt her. I told him I no longer cared really about her feelings, children should NOT be favored in that way IN THEIR FACE!

I just want peace in my home again & I just don't know how to go about bringing it now that I threw all this in the fan. I just want to crawl in a hole & die sometimes.

[stillparentingafteralltheseyears]

Everyone in every family has favorites. This is not right, but is sadly true.
My mother favors my oldest sister's daughter and youngest son, my next sister's youngest daughter and, in my family, my son. When my daughter (who is 6 1/2 years younger) got old enough that I was concerned she would notice the favoritism, I asked my mother to treat them equally. My mother's reaction was to stop doing anything for my son at all. Sometimes I wonder if I should have left well enough alone, since my now adult daughter has told me it did not bother her at all. But, my son has told me that it did bother him a lot and made him feel badly to be getting so many things from my parents when my daughter got almost nothing. Thought you might be interested in hearing from the kids perspective.
In your situation, to regain peace in your home, it seems that you should say you are sorry to your husband for your reaction. Yes, you were taking up for your son, but it puts your husband in the middle. To get him out of the middle, you could tell him that you would like to talk to you mil and let her know that while you appreciate what she is doing for your older daughter, it is not fair to any of the children to do so much for one and not the others. Point out that it may make your daughter feel badly (as it did my son) and the feelings of all the children need to be taken into consideration. You might also consider doing what a friend of mine does, accept the items with a polite thank you and then exchange some of the items for items for your other children. Hope this helps!