[Karroog]

For the record, this is my girlfriends son, not mine.

We'll call him Mike. Mike is 18 and entering his senior year of high school next year. A big issue for me about him is that he has no drive to do anything but play video games. He goes to school, comes back and sits in front of the TV and computer for the rest of the day. The sad part is, he is getting A's and B's in school. I know he has potential, but he has no driving force whatsoever.

For example, I have been pushing him to find a part time job. Even though the economy sucks, there are tons of opportunities out there if only he could try. I have given him a few leads, but he seems to not even care. Just says "Yeah, I'll get to it" and so on. Completely unmotivated at this moment.

The major issue I see with all this, and yes this is complex, is when he gets out of high school that he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life. If he decides early he'll have a better start for the future. I've already explain the importance of SAT preparation and test taking if he wishes to go to college but it doesn't click with him. I do not want to see him become an adult child, because then I will not have the patience to stay with my girlfriend. I have been with her for 2 years and I love her to death, but there is only so much I can take.

Any advice on how to handle this would be much appreciative. This probably has come up multiple times, but another part of this is stress relieve to actually get it out there.

Thanks.

[purelegance]

i've worked with teens his age for a few years now, and he sounds like any other teen i know going into his senior year. i don't think he's unmotivated, he's living in the now, and concentrating on high school. to you & me, college is only a year away.. to him that's a full school year with a ton happening in between now and then. (summer, beginning of the school year, homecoming, christmas, spring break, prom, graduation.. and the day to day events occuring between then). he seems to be a pretty good student (a's & b's) so i don't foresee him blowing the SATs

as for working, i think that's an issue for "mike" and his mom. some parents want their children to work during high school and some prefer they just worry about school/social activities.

[letschildproofdotcom]

I think the best way to get him doing something is to find something he likes to do. My nephew is 17 and he was the same way until we put him in an art class. He loved it so much and was so good at it he got a job at the school.

[Karroog]

Originally Posted by letschildproofdotcom

I think the best way to get him doing something is to find something he likes to do. My nephew is 17 and he was the same way until we put him in an art class. He loved it so much and was so good at it he got a job at the school.

Granted, I'm probably worrying too much because of my experience with him. Does great in school is one thing, but having the motivation to take that extra step I believe he needs to realize. I'm going to sign him up with SAT's and see how he does and that'll be a big shoe-in for him to realize this stuff is for real.

My girlfriend had a talk with him last night. He understands what he has to do, I just don't think, as purelegance suggested, that he understands how fast times goes by. We'll see how the summer goes.

[ProudPapa]

Most high school kids don't do things "differently" until something hits them. Maybe if he fails the SAT's or what and then maybe he get serious. Failure is the ultimate key to success. You just can't be successful all the time.

[comusher]

See if the local video game store or electronics store is hiring. Finding a job that he likes will help him get into the workforce.
Or you could also take the approach of getting him a tough manual labor job. If he sees how hard he will work upon graduation he will be more motivated to do better.