[Nitwit]

Okay so today was my dr appt and my glucose screening. I woke this morning STARVING but I had decided that since I crave sugary things that I wouldn't eat anything until after the blood draw so I grabbed a banana to eat after. I got there a little early but I brought a book so it was cool. I got called back around 11am. Urine was normal and I have gained a total of 14lbs which I was told was completely normal so YAY!!! I drank that GROSS stuff and tfought like hell to keep it down and succeeded. We listened to Coop's heartbeat, which normally as soon as they put the doppler on he like hides but this time it was instantanous at 148bpm. I mentioned the hiding thing and dr was like Bigger target... lol!!! I measured at 25cm which is right on target give or take a few days (5 days). She asked if I had any questions. Zantac for heartburn, watery stuff I mentioned before is what you guys thought it was and she congratulated me lol, weight gain is good, but my depression is where she drew the line. She recommended counselling for dh and I and gave a script for Prozac which made me cry even harder than I all ready was. Just when I had gotten control of myself her pager goes off and she was out the door to deliver. I left the room with my timer to wait for my blood draw where I had to have 4 vials. Two for my glucose and two for my rH screening so I can have my rHogam shot at 28 weeks. Once I cleared the blood draw I ate that banana so lovingly. I scheduled my next appointment at Oct 29th and then I'll be going every two weeks from there on until my 36th week. So Oct 29th and Nov 15th. Then I came home to find dh home. He asked how everything went and I told him about the prozac. Exact words were, "take it and I divorce you take it behind my back and I still divorce you." So I spent the better half of my day crying until he and I sat down to talk. I told him how I felt he treated Coop and he apologized and tried to make it up to me... He said that since Cooper wasn't born yet it just didn't feel real to him but that he would try harder. So I can't take the prozac all though I have a history of depression and have really bad feeling about PPD.... Remember Tom Cruise's comment's on Brooke Shields PPD... Dh feels the same way that TC feels about it... so I'm stuck and have to try to think happy thoughts and hope that everything turns out fine.... And you know for some reason I have the strongest feeling Cooper is going to be a Christmas baby.... So tomorrow I head back to work and right now I head to bed.... Thanks for the support guys... I really have come to care for you all....

[purelegance]

WOW! as a disclaimer --> personally, my philosophy is "it's my body" and DH is in the same boat, if i ever ask him something he says "it's your body, i can't tell you what to do" (which sometimes is frustrating).

if you think you need the prozac, and your doctor says it's safe then i don't see how your DH has any place to say anything. i would imagine he'd want a happy pregnant wife over a depressed one. i think you NOT taking the prozac would hurt the baby more. take a long bubble bath and try to relax and please don't stress yourself. being stressed and sad doesn't help your baby either. if it makes you feel better, kick DH on the couch for the night and stretch out & take up the whole bed. and if he ever says "i'll divorce you" again, remind him that if he divorces you, you will not allow him to see his son. It's harsh and drastic, but it'll remind him to think twice before he mentions the "d" word again.

[mommy2067]

I am biting my tongue right now Whitney...I am just going to send you ((((((((HUGS)))))...I do think that a bubble bath is in order...if not tonite than tomorrow...I also like the idea of your DH on the couch...oops....my teeth slipped...biting tongue!!!

Okay....so here's the thing... if DH didn't think it was a good idea for you to take the Prozac...(which I am guessing the doc says is safe otherwise...you could research it..) he could have said that to you in much nicer terms then to utter the "threat" of divorce...those aren't idle words to be thrown around at whim..!!! If there was concern there for you and Cooper than he could say hey...maybe (duh!!) we need to talk...let's sit down Whitney and have a chat...or whatever...but not..."My way or the highway!!" Maybe the doc had a really good suggestion about you and DH seeking some couselling...IF DH would agree to it...it could prove very helpful!!!

Okay...tongue is back b/w teeth now.....but I don't make any promises for how long, 'kay??!!!

[Alejandros Mommy]

I unlike heather will not bite my tongue.....are you sure you want to stay in this relationship? The whole PG your Dh has not supported you at all and is constantly criticizing (sp?) you. Take the depression medication and enjoy your PG...do not Put up with crap from anyone..least of all your Dh...he needs to treat you with R-E-S-P-E-C-T and he is not!

I will tell you I have been there...a baby is no excuse to stay in a relationship....

ButI hope he is willing to go to counseling with you and realy, truly work things out. You need a stable and loving relationship with him for you and your baby.

BIG hugZ. I hope he'll listen.

[slygirrl]

Wow..... yeah I'm not going to hold back either...... Your dh needs to do some serious research..... I'm telling you from personal experience that if you are depressed normally wait until your hormones start getting the best of you. PPD is NOT something to mess with. I already told my dh as soon as my c-section is over I want to be on "happy pills" because I am miserable to live with when I have PPD, plus it just flat out SUCKS to go through. Anti-depressants is the only way (I think) to get through it. It makes the severity of what it feels like to go through that quite a bit less. It's your body not his so you need to do what is going to b the HEALTHY decision for you.

And this pregnancy doesn't "feel real" to him?! What a cop out!! As much of a jerk as my dh was to me during our first pregnancy (he and I were not married or together at all when I was pg the first time) he never once acted like a jerk about the baby because it didn't "seem real". It was real for him the moment I showed him a positive pregnancy test! Oh girl...... the decision is yours to make but he doesn't seem all that supportive at all and that alone is a huge red flag for me. I wish you luck, but please don't let him hold a divorce over your head in taking the anti-depressants. The kind of depression people experience normally as well as when they have PPD is enough to dirve them over the edge so for your own mental sanity I would take them. Let us know how it goes.....

[poliscmjr]

There is nothing that I can add that hasn't already been said. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, and we are all here to support you!

[MiaCamille]

I agree with all that's been said, i hope everything turns out ok for you...

[2006Mama]

I agree with MiaCamille

[mommy2067]

I wasn't truly holding back or biting my tongue...I was going for a little levity in what is a very frustrating, emotional and strained time right now...So just to clarify...I do completely agree with all that others have said...but I think you all already know that!! I wish you the best and if that means working things out with your DH...seriously working things out not just the "band-aid apologies" and "I will do betters"..but seeking some outside counselling than great...but if it means saying "Cooper and I are important here and need to be loved and cared for and this just isn't working for me anymore..."....then we are all here for you...we just want what is best for you and Cooper!!!

[Nitwit]

A little history lesson on Whitney:
Three years ago I was an addict. I was very troubled and used drugs as my anti-depressant. Once I detoxed and got my life back the depression was still there. I began taking Lexapro until I met dh. He was like a breath of fresh air into my life and became my anti-depressant. Honestly if it wasn't for him I probably would be dead right now. So I owe him my life. Not that that means I would give my life up for him nor would I give up Cooper's. We dated, got engaged, and moved in together in about 5 months total. A month after we moved in together I found out I was pregnant with my angel baby. We were under a lot of pressure from dh's ex, who is sdd mom, and were kinda forced into marriage. The day after our cival ceremony I woke up to find out I was bleeding. Once at the hospital I miscarried fully and didn't need a d&c. A part of me thought, okay well now I don't have to be married. The other part of me loved my dh and wanted to make it work with him. So for the past 20 months of my marriage, 6 of which I have been pregnant with Cooper, dh and I have split up three times. Twice because of fighting over stupid stuff and the most recent was Cooper in May. I love him and I want him to be in Cooper's life. I know that PPD isn't something to mess with and if I am diagnosed with it I will deal with it. Right now with the prozac... a friend of the family who was on prozac recently committed suicide and our sister in law who is also on prozac attempted suicide. He and I did talk last night and he said the d word came about out of fear for Cooper and fear for me. It could be crap and it probably is but he was raised by WEIRD people. LoL!!! But so was I... I don't really know what to do about anyting right now. I think that I will wait until my next appt on the 29th and talk with my Dr about it... see how things go. Until recently I've been okay... just mopey and crying alot. I know that dh hasn't really supported me or Cooper. A lot of his distance comes from fear of losing Cooper like we lost the angel baby, he really took it hard. Some of it from sdd being ignored once Cooper is born and money. Until recently we were a single income household and we couldn't afford to pay attention. Now we've caught up on the bills and are getting to the point we can pay off those REARENDS that call wanting their money (no insurance from the m/c). So right now I don't know what to do but try to make this work but I've all ready said that dh has the next three months and the first three months' of Cooper's life to be a real father to him or I'm gone. I won't sacrifice my son's happiness because I'm blindly inlove with someone who doesn't support me or what I go through. I've all ready told dh this and also that I won't keep Cooper from him and I won't ask for anything from him except for him to be a father to his son. I won't live the rest of my life like my mother did, resenting my children because I couldn't leave their father because of them. It's trash to believe that and to actually say that to your children is trash. Believe me I went through it. That brings us back to the history lesson and the beginning of the start of my life with dh. I love you guys so much and live for checking on here. You all have been a neverending source of stress relievers and confadonts (SP) that I don't know what I would do without. I am going to focus on Cooper and sdd, who is like my daughter and will always be my little girl. I will be working on trying to relax and keep myself from getting worked up. I cried this morning because a local police officer died in a car accident in the area. Had no idea who he was or where the accident was but in the news it seemed so sad. NEWAYS, lol... I want to thank you all for everything and will probably be needing your help in the future... BHs' are not comfortable!!!!lol... Thank you all so much!!!!!!!
By the by.... signature isn't working ne more grr... I need to fix my ticker so if someone can help me out????