[Mom0206]

Well we're not just famous for our potaoes anymore!! As I understand it---the Senator was in a bathroom and there was an undercover officer possing as a younger man bacause there had been complaints of someone harassing men in the bathroom. So our wonderful senator goes in and was peeking through the cracks around the stall at the "younger man" and was making it clear he wanted sex. Then he went into the stall and in his words "took a wide stance", in the cops words, he was playing footsie. When senator reached under door for a little feel, the cop reached under with his badge in hand and busted him. If you want the full story our newspaper here is the Times-News, out of Twin Falls, Idaho. The website has the entire story.

[mcmama]

Looks like he is going to fight to keep his senate seat. This is a misdemeanor, and so it can be argued that he cannot be forced to give it up.

However....

Unless he has been totally set up and the undercover agent is lying, I think he should resign. This type of misdemeanor is a violation of public safety and public trust, and seriously undermines quality of life. The problem for me is that it took place in a public setting.

I hope his wife is getting the support she needs, independent of his advisors and family and friends who need her to tell them it's not true. I know from personal experience that if she contacts the straight spouse network (www.straightspouse.org) she will find information, support, and complete confidentiality. They are very good with people who aren't sure and are trying to figure out what the behavior means for themselves. Each family has a different experience and a different way of coping. Some people divorce or separate, others stay together. For most of the couples I know who have stayed together (and there are not many) it is a difficult process which requires total honesty from both partners, and a lot of ongoing work.

Most public schools do not allow teachers to resume their duties after being convicted of this type of "misdemeanor". I think the same standard should apply to lawmakers as well.

[JeanLynn81]

Oh gosh, his poor wife...

[mcmama]

Well, I guess the saga continues. The senator's adult children (actually his step children) went on Good Morning America to defend him. Their response was pretty typical of families facing a closeted husband/father - that is disbelief, and also an affirmation of love no matter what.

OK, so that was Tuesday. On Friday, this story appeared. Seems the kiddos have serious character flaws and brushes with the law. These include charges of statutory rape that were dismissed, and restraining orders from their exes.

I really question the newsworthiness of jumping on the family at all. It is clear this family has troubles. It is also clear that the senator's real life does not mirror the values he claims to support politically. But as the ex wife of a closeted gay man, this reaction to the family show of support really troubles me.

If the reports are true, then undoubtedly these two are troublemakers with troubled relationships, and apparently abusiveness and poor decisions play a huge part. But their dad is in trouble, their mom is in crisis, and they went public to speak up for them. That is not easy to do. So many families who have dealt with this have many troubles - I would hate to think that an adult son or daughter has to be "good enough" to have "credibility" to speak in support of a parent, or fear invasion of their own personal business - which although noteworthy, is not really newsworthy.

This family needs support in this ordeal. No two families deal with it quite the same way. It is clear they have suffered greatly for many years. No one can understand this truly and the weird things families do to cope with the behavior and lies unless they have actually experienced it themselves. And for the life of me, I cannot imagine what the senator thinks he will "win" by retracting the guilty plea. He may win in court, but he exposes his family to further stress and degradation and ridicule. They may all want to firmly support him but how much can anyone be expected to take? I think this is callous.

I really hope they are getting their own support independent of the political spin doctors, and can rebuild their lives.

[SueR]

Originally Posted by mcmama

Actually, there are a few good things about New Jersey:

A lot of my favorite people are from New Jersey: Bruce Springsteen, Patti Smith, Bill Maher.