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It sounds like no matter what you do that the first thing to do is get some sleep. Do you have family or trusted friends close by that could take your kids for an hour or two (FOR FREE) on a weekly basis? This would be something that you could look forward to every week. (It's amazing what that does for one's morale.)
This is hard and I'm sorry you are going through this. I had an experience several years ago that, although it pales in comparison to your situation, is slightly similar to yours. When I look back on that experience the only thing I wish I would've done differently (for the sake of my kids) is reach out to my trusted neighbors, friends, church group, and family members for help as well as taking advantage of community programs such has been mentioned in previous posts. What I learned is that people want to help but that they don't know how until you tell them exactly what it is you need, which is very frustrating for you - I know. When you get to the point where you are now, expect that you're going to need a lot of help and be okay w/ that. You didn't get to feeling this way in one day.
I'm touched by your example of reaching out for help. Unfortunately, I didn't have that kind of courage and my children have paid dearly for it - especially my oldest son. You're in my prayers.
P.S. Have you been able to talk to you daughter's pediatrician about your suspicions? If so, what has he/she said?
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