[allman_13]

some people believe it to be o.k that there children like to wear the clothing of the other sex. many girls are just called tom boys and its not seen to be as bad as if a male does it. a males sexuality may be questioned if they are found to be in female clothing but is this right?. some mothers encorage it, if a mother wanted a girl but had a boy they could encorage the child to do it. there are many other issues which are involved with this topic such as sexuality, upbringing and state of mind. i just wanted to know what everyone thinks about it

[mcmama]

This is a good question, and you posed it in a very open way. A lot of women and girls are more comfortable in "male" clothing, because if you are active, it is more comfortable.

Guys who want to dress in traditional women's clothing are usually doing so for a gender identity or sexual reason. Sometimes with either sex, there is a medical reason for some ambiguity or for feeling trapped in the wrong body. Sometimes it is psychological, and needs to be addressed through therapy and family support.

As a parent, you have to do what is the best possible outcome for your child. This may mean discouraging this, or encouraging a variety of clothing, or it may mean choosing the gender your child is more comfortable with and raising them this way, with an eye toward whatever surgery may be necessary when they are older. Either way, it is not easy, and can be very isolating.

That's a parent's point of view. You do what you can with what you have. But I do know a woman who is married to a cross dresser, and the effect on her sense of self, her marriage, her family, and their finances has been devastating.

[JeanLynn81]

I'm not sure what kind of an answer, or observation, you want. Are you speaking about children whose parents cross dress them everyday? Or just a once in a while "well, he decided to wear mommy's bracelet today"? Allowing a child to choose their own clothes when playing make-believe encourages creativity. I think that child just needs to know thats what it is-and be told that mommy's things are for girls and not boys. Its up to the parent to set healthy boundaries.
As far as a parent encouraging a child to dress like the opposite sex, I don't have any experience with this. In my eyes it would be wrong. That child could suffer alot of emotional trauma from being made fun of my other kids, and could be hurt pretty bad by the comments overheard from adults. Also, cross dressing is illegal in alot of places.

[QueenAngie]

I did watch that Barbara Walters show on 20/20 last month
that featured transgendered children. That really opened my
eyes to this topic.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=...?GT1=10008ge=1

With the children she interviewed on the show, it did not appear to come
from the parents as pushing the child into a role of the opposite sex.
It came from the child, who felt like "a boy in a girl's body"
or "a girl in a boy's body" from a very young age like 2 - 3 years old.

How very, very sad for that child.

No personal experience here as a parent either.

[pattiewrites]

Every member of the transgender community that I've ever seen has said they were transgender as children. Even as very small children they felt a need to dress like the opposite sex. It stands to reason that this issue would come up in some families. I guess the question I'd have to ask myself is how much therapy do I want him to need later, due to my reaction now? I'd have to carefully weigh my reaction to not cause emotional damage later in life.

[twinzplus3]

That's a good response Pattie. . .

[oweirdo]

There are people how feel more comfy in the opposite sexes clothing. I mean there are people who are born with out, legs, arms, or with diseases. Maybe there is something in that persons body, a guy with too many female hormones, who truly has the wrong body.

I remember as young as 5 thinking I should have been a boy, wow bet you did not know that! I was always outside, climbing trees, teasing the cows, riding the pigs. I hated wearing dresses, ribbons, lace, nothing frilly for me PLEASE. But my mom would make me wear them, not knowing how I felt. And to make her happy I did, I climbed in them, played in the lake with them. I was hard on those frills
And as a teen I was sure I was really a boy, I never had my period, 2-3 times a year. It seemed to me, I should have been a boy, I was always called one of the guys. It was not until I met my Mikey he showed me, without knowing, that I was truly a women. I still enjoyed being treated like one of the guys, not like the tag along wife. And even now, I am out playing with them every chance I get, mostly showing them up too.

[Alejandros Mommy]

Originally Posted by QueenAngie

I did watch that Barbara Walters show on 20/20 last month
that featured transgendered children. That really opened my
eyes to this topic.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=...?GT1=10008ge=1

With the children she interviewed on the show, it did not appear to come
from the parents as pushing the child into a role of the opposite sex.
It came from the child, who felt like "a boy in a girl's body"
or "a girl in a boy's body" from a very young age like 2 - 3 years old.

How very, very sad for that child.

No personal experience here as a parent either.

I watched the same thing! This is a very touchy subject. From a mom's stand point I would be devestated if one of my boys would be this way...Knowing myself..I would try to support them but I would always miss the "person" that I knew.

[Firespice]

I would also like to say that the styles change with the times and the culture.

Scottish men were Kilts (skirt)
Middle Eastern Men wear long things that look like dresses to me.
Samurai wear giant huge Koo-lat pants (also called pedal pushers I think)
Men in the English courts used to wear tights and wigs (still do i think)

I know some children who do not were the styles of this age. Once girl at church LOVES to wear middevil gowns with the long open drape-E sleeves (cant say I blame her they look NEAT) I used to know a girl who wore Pioneer clothing. I know many old ladies who were traditional clothing of there cultures (pacific Islander and Japanese)

My Brother dressed up as a "Hot Chick" for Halloween once. Totally looked like a girl. My dad through a fit. Was it bad - no it was for fun. I was a TomBoy, and I had a good childhood - and now I enjoy wearing HIGH fashion garments.... but i can still play in the mud.

As with any parenting thing - you need to give children freedom to grow and choose there own paths. However you can direct that path. "Its OK son if you want to wear a dress for dress up, but its not appropriate to wear to school at this time" "Its OK daughter to learn to work on a car, but not in your Sunday dress"

Personally I have a 10 year old Pirate girl. And I am having tons of fun picking out skull fabric to make a pirate outfit, that she may wear anywhere she wants, except church. Sure I get raised eyebrows at the super market, but its OK - she will move onto another phase soon, and as long as its not sex or drugs or against the law its OK.

Hope that helps.

Suzie

PS remember sometime if we fight something we don't like we make it worse ourselves.

[Samual]

If they want to do it, they can do it, though I doubt there are many children who didn't occasionally toot around in their mothers shoes every now and again