[lokiean]

Im a farther and sole supporter of 3 people. My wife and two kids. My mife is a stay home mother. MY questions what roles/duties should we currently have.
I ownm y own business and provide ALL the income, i pay all the bills, I spend a few minutes with my kids before work and mostly on the days i have off. We do family things (shopping park, ice cream etc).
Every night its my duty whne i get back form work 8-10pm to put the kids to bed and deal with them during the night. I take the trash out for the garbageman on thursday (unless somthign gets the the way and i miss them) i pay people to do the lawn home improvements etc. At night we usually watch a movie. Id rather be on the net or drawing ( as art is what i do for a living and anythign i draw becomes a means of income) even if im doign it beside her shed rather me sit there watchign tv with her instead of doing my own thing. Even if we alternate nights i get complaints when i wanna do my own thing. (I do give her her space )
At the moment we need a new car, bigger house (as we are expecting and my son has just started preschool).
SO when i get home and want to relax wether it be after work or my days off she wants to be out the house. And i want to stay in the house. She wants me to take more time off of work while we have many htings we need to afford. COmplains we dont go on vacation and so on. Her duties as of now if laundry ( which offten isnt done) and feeding takin care of the kids and house.

hat else should i be doing. i feeling sread thin as hell.

[AussieD]

Sounds like you bith need to sit down and calmly talk things through as it seems there's a lot of resentment. I'm not denying you have your hands full with what you're doing but a stay at home Mom needs some adult conversation and company at times too. I think you need to talk it through and work out a compromise.

[mcmama]

Can you not relax WITH your wife, instead of doing something solitary? That's what watching tv with her is. Relaxing. Together. No purpose to it. No money. No sex. No accomplishment. Just relaxing. Together. After a hard day of partnership.

Find ways to relax with your wife that don't involve sex or something that you find purposeful. Just relax and enjoy her company.

[twinzplus3]

Ditto to what the ladies said. Like Dale said--I'm not denying that you have your hands full but I have to say that you might get a better picture of what she does if you are able to stay with the kids for a 24 hour period while your wife is not there. It sounds like though that she is needing some adult companionship and wants some of your attention and to get out of the house. Sounds like a long talk without blaming is in order.

[Samual]

I have never watched tv with my husband, it pointless and mind numbing and not sharing time together in the slighest, I don't see why she would have a problem with you drawing especially as she would rather you kill a few brain cells starting at a tv.

She wants more money, yet she tries to stop you working, thats quite odd.

[KR258]

I agree that she's probably just needing adult interaction. It's hard being at home all week with kids and never getting out and never getting adult conversation. It sounds as though you work almost all the time and when you have free time instead of getting babysitter and taking your wife out, you would rather work then too or play with the kids. I am sure she needs some alone time but too much alone time is lonely.

[mcmama]

Originally Posted by Samual

I have never watched tv with my husband, it pointless and mind numbing and not sharing time together in the slighest, I don't see why she would have a problem with you drawing especially as she would rather you kill a few brain cells starting at a tv.

She wants more money, yet she tries to stop you working, thats quite odd.

Sounds like she wants his companionship. I think being a guy, Samual, you probably relate to your husband different than a woman does. She is female. Females want warmth and companionship, even when there is no purpose. Even when the relaxing activity is a purposeless waste of time.

He can't draw WITH her. It's a solitary retreat to the cave guy thing. They need to find a way to relax together, and make that a priority.

I was married to a guy who always made sure I knew that I didn't make enough money to justify him taking the time to do purposeless things like watch tv with me. When he did, it was like he was doing me a big favor. Always said he didn't like TV. But he would take time from his busy day to keep me "happy". It was not very relaxing.

Now for a guy who said I cost too much money and was wasting time watching tv, he sure was ordering a lot of videotapes. Oh, very important. Instructional. Educational. And some of them were. Well, I dug into those very important instructional videos he was ordering, and I found many of them were instructional, but many were all about gay sex. No wonder he didn't think I was worth much!

A couple needs to have a way to relax together. Without retreating to the computer or a solitary activity.

[purelegance]

DH felt the same way when he worked 70 hrs a week. you go stir crazy staying at home all day with the kids, so it's nice to get out of the house with your significant other and have them help you with the kids. (it's almost as good as getting out of the house by yourself!) you being on the net and her watching tv at the same time is not the same as spending time with her (which is what she needs after being home all day with the kids, going stir crazy). you're doing your thing and she's doing hers, there's no "together" in that. sit down and have a chat. we ended up letting him have an hour when he got home to relax, then he was mine the rest of the night. days off he could have most of the day to surf the net or whatever suited his fancy. HTH.