[Mayigut]

Even just type this title, I firstly feel guilty.
We have a baby with down syndrome, I don't know how we survived the first month especially the first several days, it's really a deep shock for us. But little by little, we feel it's ok and we want to treat him as a typical baby. I learned a lot from the family blogs raising children having down syndrome, especially the positive things that could give us encouragement and braveness.

But, not always thing we want to know, tons potenssials would be happen sooner or later, more or less. We begin to worry about the future more and more tensely. We have one daughter at 4 yrs old, and expect to have one more child even we have already hot our son with special needs. But that would increase the life expenditure and we still don't have our own house and we even don't have stable jobs, and our income would be very low if my wife stay at home to take care of our children. Actually, I also want to know how these families to raise 3-4 children? I was totaly shocked when I looked at the annual report about the life expenditure per child till he reaches 18 yrs old.

During the past one month, although we cried every night, we enjoyed a lot with our son, we love him, but we also don't know whether we could ensure his living in the future, as well as our daughter. So even we decide to raising hime by ourselves, we occasionaly think about whether we should have him adopted by a better family who really want to adopt a child with down syndrome who has special needs.

But, each time when I talk about this, or even just think about this, I feel guilty. Yes, life will be heavy and tough to raise our son with down syndrome, but if I would always feel guilty in the future, how could I survive in my own life? And I think that if we- the biological parents--give it up for the defective reasons, how could we anticipate the adoptive parents to love him from heart and treat him as better as a typical child?

Having all these feelings and questions, we still prefer to take care of him by ourselves. But we do want to know what would it to be if we have our son adopted by a family wih love. Thanks.