Thank you! I feel my ego was petted a bit.
By now we're so comfortable with each other, I don't even know if I can remember what the "rules" or tips and tricks are. We found what works for us, and we live by them.
I know neither of us name call. He'd never call me the b-word, even in his angriest moments. And I'd never call him anything. I supposed we can have louder discussions from time to tome,but they're so far and few between. I can't recall the last one.
We both listen to each other, no matter what. He has a point of view, and I have mine. We always find a way to make sure the other is happy with the decision. I think when it comes to the kids and discipline, he listens to me far more than I listen to him. Even though I'm strict, he's much stricter. I get him to lighten up. But i don't tell him what I think is "wrong" with him. Generally, in private I'll voice my concerns. I'm always reminding him that his relationship with his daughters especially has to be a strong, positive one. Else they'll search for what they need elsewhere with other boys/men.
If I do something or plan something he doesn't think is a great idea, he just tells me about it, and why he feels that way. I'll point out my views on the subject, and both of us will think about it for a while. No major changes or expenses are ever gotten into without both of us approving.
As for finances...Rich (my dh) keeps an "allowance" for himself and pretty much forks over his paycheck to me. I add it with mine and make sure all the bills are paid. I do all the shopping. But if he needs/wants something, we discuss it. I budget for it, and we both get the things we want. Sometimes, it takes a while. Sometimes, one of us has to wait for the other to get theirs first. But we both get the fun things we want (me, my computers. Him, his 4-wheelers, etc.).
We're both dependable. We're ALWAYS right where we say we're going to be. Not that there's a whole lot of checking up going on. But stuff happens...if Rich says he's at his moms and there's an emergency, it's really comforting to know that's where he is. No guessing. I'm the same way. It takes me anywhere from 4-6 hours to do my weekly shopping, but he knows which stores I go to and in what order. I have my calendar posted on the fridge, especially during school, my schedule flexed considerably from day to day.
The nights I was at work or school, dh always made dinner. He made sure the kids did their homework and chores. Every night I'd come home to dinner just being done within 10-15 minutes. I try to do the same for him on the days I'm home before him. It's the little things-but they're really, really major. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
As I think of more, I'll post them. Like I said, it's more a way of life now for us. We started out very different-volatile at times.
What would you like to see from Marriage in '08?
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