[chrismackinnon]

I've been married for 12 years now. We have a normal relationship (whatever that means!) and with the stresses of money/jobs/4 kids/homework/early teen issues/etc., sometimes things seem insurmountable. But one minute we fight like cats and dogs, and the next minute we're (insert dirty minds here). Some days we'd love to throw the towel in and others we want to towel the throw in Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! How do two people keep it all together? What things can married couples do to make it last outside of the tornado house?

[mrmnmom82]

I think respect has a lot to do with it. You don't talk down to each other. You have expectations, and disapointing moments, but because you respect eachother, you forgive and move on, because you know nobodies perfect, even you.

Date nights help keep the personal spark going so you don't feel so much like roommates. And joking around is one thing I hope continues. I love joking around with my hubby, it makes me feel like he's my friend too.

[chrismackinnon]

The R words really stand out in your message. Respect: I so agree with you. If you don't have that for your spouse, who will? Respect is such a key ingredient in marriage, in life, in every relationship. Roomates: that is hilarious. The reason I find it so funny is because I would bet even the "best" married couples feel like roomates by times. And for this reason, I fully agree with date nights. It's hard to see past the busyness sometimes and remember back to why you first go together in the first place.

[AussieD]

Respect, commitment and communication, spending time together, enjoying each other's comamny, laughing over big and little things, being attuned to each other. Here are a few blogs on the subjecthttp://marriage.families.com/blog/re...happy-marriage
http://marriage.families.com/blog/show-some-respect
http://marriage.families.com/blog/7-...good-marriage1

[QueenAngie]

Great blogs! Glad you have linked them!

Having the same faith in God and praying for each other helps!

No marriage is 100% perfect. That is because no human is perfect.


Another thing that has helped me is this.....
I can recall one Thanksgiving that I was ready to pack it in
and I kept telling myself......
just get the kids through Christmas
with a happy marriage.

Low and behold, by Christmas 'everything was good again.'

In other words, marriages have ups and downs and if you can
be patient, the good part will return.

Now, if a partner is having an affair,
sexual, physical, or mental abuse,
totally different story, IMO.

[jmmv08]

I agree with Angie, faith in God and praying for each other really helps a lot.
Open communications is also another great factor.

[chio88]

I agree. Respect and trust for each other is a must in a relationship. Don't expect too much, for expectations causes disappointments. Just be accepting

[Chipwag64]

A lot of good advice, but I would add this:
Don't ever get caught in the feeling that everything is perfect and put your marriage on cruise control.For those who are Christians here, we know that Satan wants to destroy your family, starting with your marriage.
What a wonderful testimony to your spouse when you always strive to be a better spouse and literally lay down your life for them.
What better way to show your love than to continually think of ways both in words of affirmation and deeds of selfless kindness to love your spouse.Of course these things should be from the heart, not forced.
Does this mean that we need to think 24/7 of our spouse and worry and fret continually that our marriage needs to improve?...no, just don't get caught taking your spouse for granted or slacking off for extended periods of time in your spending quality time together.I'm sure that too many of us here have had the wake up call suffering through an affair; whether we were the offender or victim, all because we failed to show our spouse how much we love them, or we didn't receive the love from our spouse and may have sought it elsewhere.

[AussieD]

Well said Chipwag64.

[LeanyBean]

Originally Posted by chrismackinnon

I've been married for 12 years now. We have a normal relationship (whatever that means!) and with the stresses of money/jobs/4 kids/homework/early teen issues/etc., sometimes things seem insurmountable. But one minute we fight like cats and dogs, and the next minute we're (insert dirty minds here). Some days we'd love to throw the towel in and others we want to towel the throw in Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! How do two people keep it all together? What things can married couples do to make it last outside of the tornado house?

Have you been spying on me? This seems to be the exact scene in my house and has been for years. Only difference being you've got 2 more years of marraige on me.

I don't believe any relationship is perfect nor do I expect it to be. We last because we love and live. We do the best we can and love each other regardless what's going on in our lives.