[beth]

I've just come out of a 15 year friendship with a dear friend and wonderful person who was bent on self-destruction and unfortunately wanted me to pick up the pieces each time she indulged in an unhealthy behavior. When I first met her all those years ago, she was a fun-loving functioning person, but the last 10 years have seen a slow but steady decline in her behavior including irresponsible drug taking, irresponsible sexual practices which left her open to not only medical problems but violence, drinking binges, and failing to be responsible for those who needed her. I finally drew the line and said I wouldn't be helping her out again with a relationship she was going back into for the third time, the previous two with this man leading to disasters, whereby she became so depressed she needed to be nursed back to health (by a psychiatrist and me). I've now lost that friend as she rejected me for "rejecting" her. However, her antics affected all who knew her, her mother became ill worrying about her, and although we love her, we can't go on being hurt by her actions. It was time to walk away. It's sad when a friend from your teen years is no longer a part of your life and so much of your life you shared together. But it was definitely the way to go. Such is life!

[jgreene]

I am so sorry that you were in this situation, Beth, but I think you did the right thing. Sometimes we ask too much of people (often women) in dealing with addictive/destructive folks. It is certainly commendable to help and stand by those we love, but when they hurt us over and over and no change occurs, the only rational course is to walk away. Not only does this protect the caregiver's health and sanity, but also it can give the addictive person a chance to face their demons on their own. They will have to find courage within themselves, and I believe that some at least will eventually rise to the challenge. I hope that your friend will, in time, do just that!

[ashleyann]

My mother is an alcoholic and an addict. I am 23 and have been dealing with this for years upon years. My father is also an alcoholic but we no longer speak but that is beside the point of this. I know that it is hard to walk away from someone that you care about. My sister had her first baby yesterday and my mom showed up there and ruined the whole occasion. She is famous for finding peoples prescriptions and stealing them and money. My sister had a friend at the hospital last night and her friend has a prescription of Lortabs. She has a chronic medical condition and needs her medication. She just got the prescription filled on and now she has 12 left. My sister had to confront my mother because she was the only one around that would do that and it is not the first time by far. All she could do is deny it and told my sister that if she wanted to steal someones pills she would have just waited for hers when she went home for the hospital.. The thing that makes me the most mad is that is the only reason that she went to the hospital or to see her for having the baby. The best part is that she totalled her car 2 days ago and my grandpa had to take her to see my sis and my sis lives 3 1/2 hours away. Then because of what she did he had to turn around and bring her home. It was just a mess or is a mess.
I really do know how you feel and have empathy for anyone that has to deal with an alcoholic and/or addict family member or friend. It is one of the hardest things in the world. In my opinion some of them will just never change because they dont want to. They have to want to change in order to change.