[mcmama]

I don't think it is an either or situation. I found when my kids were little we watched very little commercial television, because of the problems with commercials. Whether it was sex or violence, if it was inappropriate for their age level I just didn't let it in the house. We watched a lot of public television and videos. My youngest is now 16 and I have only started to let him watch "the sopranos" this year. We watch it together and talk about it. ("So why'd they think they HAD to kill Vito? Couldn't they just 'fuggedaboudit'?")

The exception was when my oldest was three and he became obsessed with Star Trek, which was my "vice". He was the only kid who was as obsessed with classic trek as other kids were with the ninja turtles. So when Next Generation came on, we would watch it. Most of the ads were for cars, and were sexy. So I had to deal with the fact that my three year old wanted to watch a show whose target audience was adult men ages 18-40. He also developed a liking for Babylon 5. One time that show aired a commercial for the movie "showgirls" which was rated x. I am happy to say he had the good sense to be offended. The borg queen and the alien priestess lady on Babylon 5 who spun her own coccoon were so much more interesting.

So now he is graduating college, has a fiance he adores and over protects, and still doesn't know a thing about cars. But they go to scifi conventions.

The important thing is you make the decisions, exercise the control, and understand that you can't keep it all out no matter how hard you try - but you have to try. And you always have to talk about it, and listen.

[TrishaYonts]

I thought about it for a while before posting. Violence is worse than sex. Actually putting it out there, makes some teens not have sex, because of the possibilities of getting pregnant, having an STD, etc. (Only person ive had sex with is my husband, and im glad i waited, cause i waited for love, not just to get it over with) Sure, some magazines and tv ads are ...out there... but other times, having it put out there, Teens wont be so curious about it, and want to explore about it more, they already know just by having it put down on the line in front of them. Take for example Dr. Phil or Oprah. They have teens on there sometimes talking about how they regret their first time cause they didnt know the consequences or the choice of their actions and they wish they had a second chance to start over. Growing up i learned from my mother, from my school's sex ed class, and from friends. I knew everything that went on, but i didnt follow just because some said "oh its amazing" etc etc. I chose my own path, and i Thank God i did wait, and that my mother didnt hide it from me, or put parental control on the tv. For me it wasnt all that entertaining anyhow, and i ended up changing the channel myself.
Violence is way worse because of everything that happens even around the area i grew up...girls still get raped at the high school my brothers went too, i didnt go because my mother homeschooled me 9th-12th, she was scared for me and my sister. She said boys can take care of themselves more than girls can. There are also fights, kids bringing guns, knives, sometimes even putting a bunch of rings on their fingers to cause more damage when they hit someone in the face. Not only in our life, but also on tv. Movies are rated R and TV-MA more these days because of the violence they have in them, and some take it to the extreme and want to be " just like their idol on tv and hurt somebody". You know its bad when you have to go through a metal detector at school...its sad that it has to be that way. Not only is the world not safe, even going to the grocery store is bad. I remember watching the news hearing about a woman who had just gotten into her car after shopping, and man coming up to her door, opening it, and start beating her for no good reason. Luckily a bystander was around to scare the guy off and call 911. There are also attacks on senior citizens these days, but the stories are so bad i wont even explain them on here. The news showed the security cameras, and i will never forget it.. What i dont understand is how someone can be so cruel as to turn against them, they don't even know that person. Sometimes they do know that person..how can you beat up on someone you know? Do you really have that much hatred in you?
My opinion anyway...everyone else has some good explainations too

[Mom0206]

I too have thought a lot about this before posting and I would have to say that "sex" is worse. I let dd watch cartoons and I have noticed that there are a lot of bra and underwear commercials on channels like Nickelodeon lately. And don't get me started on the Cat in the Hat movie! Having said that--violence is also getting bad but in my opinion it's not just on tv it's everywhere these days. I just try to keep an eye on what dd sees and if she sees something inappropriate then she and I discuss it together.

[TrishaYonts]

Originally Posted by Mom0206

I too have thought a lot about this before posting and I would have to say that "sex" is worse. I let dd watch cartoons and I have noticed that there are a lot of bra and underwear commercials on channels like Nickelodeon lately. And don't get me started on the Cat in the Hat movie! Having said that--violence is also getting bad but in my opinion it's not just on tv it's everywhere these days. I just try to keep an eye on what dd sees and if she sees something inappropriate then she and I discuss it together.

very good point! i meant to say something on that, to not hide it (because lets face it..it IS everywhere..theres no doubt that one way or another, one will ask you about it) but yet to discuss it with both teenagers and the younger group, because some are probably confused or the younger ones think its funny to see a woman parading about in her underwear, lol. Commercials are very disturbing these days about sex, i must admit, have you ever seen that commercial about a clothes line, the woman went out on a date, came back to her apartment to have sex, and then in the morning she took a shower, and only had the towel covering her front, but not her backside, but it didnt show her butt just the side of her, but it looked like plain nudity! and then her new dress arrived and he said "This came for you" and she said something along the lines of "did you expect me to wear the same ol' thing?" and dropped her towel on the floor. Not only was i surprised at it, i just couldnt believe they'd let a commercial like that go on air! I havent seen it since so i don't know if it was banned or not..but it just seems like they'd air that during the night-time, not during the afternoon! Pre-schoolers come home then!
I think its a lose-lose situation, either way all of us have good points on the two topics, but its also nice to actually have someone to talk to about this kinda stuff, cause not many people would want to have a conversation about it, "their embarrassed", or just don't care.

[twinzplus3]

I think inappropriate is inappropriate and I agree with Janet, it's not an either or situation. It's more about what is appropriate for your child to see.

[mcmama]

Mom0206 I like how you put "sex" in quotes. Also, I really get tired of double meaning that is supposed to go over the kids heads but please the adults. It seems like there is always something stuck in a lot of kids movies to make them more attractive to the whole family. And a lot really isn't necessary.

When the godzilla remake came out, I took my youngest and a friend of his to see it. The movie was pg 13, and they were around 10, I honestly could not see what the problem would be with a movie about godzilla, and thought the pg 13 rating would be for scariness - and these two thrive on scariness. Well, with nothing to do with the plot, there was a sexy sub plot and someone called someone else a "d***hbag". The kids paid no attention to this, but I sure did. Makes language like that seem appropriate and part of the family fun for teens.

Now the kids thought the effects were great, and loved the ending, and the scenes in Madison Square Garden. But when they got out of the theater, they talked about that and all the earlier godzilla movies they had seen. As far as the story, they knew the earlier movies were clunky and lame, and they laughed at the costumes, but they liked the monsters - which I thought was the point of the movie.

Seems like there is always something "inserted" in tv programs and media - the medical and police dramas are very specifically bloody now, comedies have unnecessary vulgarity, etc. Changing the channel becomes less of an option, because what will you change it to?

Now I LOVE the Sopranos - but for me, not for kids. There is a lot of sex, violence, and bad language, but it all really has to do with the characters and the story and the seediness of it all. And I find that on that program, there is really no more of that than is necessary. It's been cleaned up for A&E, and it is not the same. I really wish A&E would not air it at nine, because even without the nudity and the language dubbed over, it is still not appropriate subject matter in my opinion for family. And with the editing, the point of the evil of the characters is weakened.

I don't have hbo because much of their content is good but much is not so good for teens. So whatever is good comes out on DVD - like the Sopranos, which I watched when the kid was not around until recently. Now that he is older we watch together. We rent some of their historical movies and dramas too. But the choice is up to me.

[JeanLynn81]

I forget where, but I think it was Iowa State where they conducted some study on how sexy and violent ads affect people's ability to leanrn and focus on what they are actually watching. They divided everyone into two groups. One group watched a program, with commercials that were in no way sexy or violent, and the other group had numerous sexy and violent commercials. Then waited (I think) a few days or couple of weeks and came back to discuss the program (not the commercials) they had watched. There was a very significant difference in what the two groups could remember! So I guess the offensive ads aren't just offensive, but detrimental to our learning process!

Anyways, just something I remembered. It would be interesting if they could go further in that study to determine which is worse-sex or violence?

[mcmama]

But some people think violence is sexy. And some sex is violent. So it really gets all mixed up.

[SueR]

I don't have a problem with sex on tv but I do have a problem with violence. I guess that makes me "argumentative" too. Oh well.

[SueR]

Originally Posted by JeanLynn81

I forget where, but I think it was Iowa State where they conducted some study on how sexy and violent ads affect people's ability to leanrn and focus on what they are actually watching. They divided everyone into two groups. One group watched a program, with commercials that were in no way sexy or violent, and the other group had numerous sexy and violent commercials. Then waited (I think) a few days or couple of weeks and came back to discuss the program (not the commercials) they had watched. There was a very significant difference in what the two groups could remember! So I guess the offensive ads aren't just offensive, but detrimental to our learning process!

If that is true, that would simply indicate we shouldn't have sexual or violent content during important educational programming. Who cares whether people can "learn", "focus on" or "remember" a football game or American Idol?
In general, I am opposed to violence in programming but not sex. That simply reflects my moral beliefs, take them or leave them. I don't think kids need to be sheltered from sexual information any more than from, say, the weather or financial reports.