[Mom2Meg]

I am responding to let you know that you have support. I am in your shoes and I know how tough it is. The other poster was right by saying that you need to focus on yourself. If you don't think of yourself and your needs, even just a little, this will absolutely torture you. I know that, as a wife and mother, it is often difficult to put ourselves first. But, you really should give yourself permission to be a little selfish. Convincing yourself that you deserve it is hard, I know, but you must for your sanity. I also agree that prayer can help. If you are a person of faith, prayer can be a comfort. Your husband's decision may be God, fate, the universe (whatever, based on your beliefs) telling you that you need to go down a new path. I know that this is a very hard thing to accept. It may take you a while to come to terms with the fact that maybe you need to allow your life to head in another direction. It is scary, confusing, and shakes you to your core. I have spent months agonizing over my husband's affair. It devastated me emotionally and made me physically sick. I, like you, suggested counseling. He, like your husband, refused. As the old saying goes ... you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. In other words, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do ... even if it is the best and the right option. If you can afford to, go to counseling by yourself. You can work out issues, get stronger, and build self-esteem. Eventually, your husband may learn that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. In the meantime, your best revenge is living well and taking care of you!
I have started a blog and would love for you to visit. Maybe we can support each other through the hard days ahead.
http://life-and-other-disasters.blogspot.com/