[Magic_Mikki]

I'm sure this debate has been talked about over and over here on Families.com, but I thought I would bring it up again. As I type, I am watching the Tyra Banks show, and to tell you the truth, I'm really frustrated and, quite frankly, I'm disgusted.

To keep my post as short as possible, I won't get into every debate that they covered, but here's the down low: Four women, two women for each side, sat on stage and fought over which way is better. My first thought was, How in the world can one side say what is best for everyone else?? The working women were a little bit more brutal, I do have to say. They were not open minded to other women's lifestyle, and were saying that this should be 'the only way'. Kids who don't go to daycare don't get socialization, the moms just sit at home and eat and watch TV, they don't get to have social lives.. etc. (By the way, what kind of working mom who comes home at night to kids has a social life, either?? I guess: What kind of MOM has a social life? )

On the other hand, the SAHM moms were saying that they want to be there for their kids, help them with homework, be the Girl Scout leaders, be involved with their schools, cook, clean, etc. Working moms can be all that, too. It's just a juggling act, sure, but it's possible and many women do it and love it!

Both sides were attacking each other instead of listening, and if they would have just listened to each other they would have realized that what each of them does works for them. They all have the same responsibilities as mothers. Just because staying at home works or going to work works for one family DOES NOT mean it will work for another family! I am getting so angry listening to them be so close-minded! I'm glad the episode is almost over!

PS. I hope this thread doesn't stir up too much hair-pulling, but I want to hear what others think about this episode, even though I'm sure no one else saw it! We have so many different kinds of moms on here, so lets hear it! But I hope it stays friendly! Let's not attack each other's lifestyles just because it's different from our own! (Easier said than done, I know!)

[DivasMomma]

Originally Posted by Magic_Mikki

. (By the way, what kind of working mom who comes home at night to kids has a social life, either?? I guess: What kind of MOM has a social life? )

very true AND very funny!!!


i have been on both sides of the fence! I dont think either way is "better". I agree--it needs to be what works for ur family, or what you HAVE to do for your family.

I hated working and wanted nothing but to stay home with my kids...and luckily my DH has a good enough job that I can....but if something ever happens and i have to go to work im not going to think im ruining my kids lives! Do I think my kids need to be in play groups or even go to the playground to be with other kids? yes. But thats also a point int he day for me to get around other adults!


and i saw the episode on Tyra b4 too and i had to turn it off

[MissyChrissy]

I agree-neither is better. Tyra just likes drama. I can't stand her show.

[KR258]

I think it's silly to think that just because you're a sahm mom your kids don't get socialization...My baby gets out and plays with other kids because I take her to places where there are other kids. She gets time with all sorts of people actually..I just prefere to be the one watching her and taking care of her than someone else doing it.

My dh doesn't really make enough money but we make huge sacrifices to make it work. My dd isn't missing out on anything and has clothes and toys (almost all used but good) We only have one car and do spend money each month on silly things like getting pictures done...I don't want to say sahm is better but it is what I prefere. I am not lazy and I do work all day but my work is with my dd and home. I wouldn't be able to do what I do if I had a job outside the home because I honestly wouldn't have the energy but that's just me.

We don't stay home all day and watch tv! We go to the park everyday and go for a walk everyday. When we are home we have play time together where I try to teach her stuff and then she has play time alone when I clean up. I don't usually get much cleaning done while she's awake because she gets into things all the time and I have to watch her. When she naps it's usually in the living room so I don't get much done then because she's easy to wake...but once she goes to bed for the night my work isn't done and I have dishes and laundry to do still. There is always something to do. I get offended when people assume that I sit at home and watch tv all day. I get offended when people tell me how to live my life. I don't want to tell people how to live theirs I just don't feel comfortable with someone else raising my baby.

[mcmama]

The media just loves to whip this one up. It is so old. So many of us do make choices to do what is right for ourselves and our families. It's not always one way or the other.

All the polarized extremes do is to foster arguments which make daycare less affordable and quality daycare less available. It has to be available and affordable, because we don't live in a safe little bubble - any family could find that mom needs to work and use daycare, for any reason.

Tyra's show is just trash. When she makes a baby, adopts a child, or faces the conscious realization later on that it ain't happening but here's who she is in a family, then maybe I'll think she has something to say about it. Mommy wars is really 80s. There are other issues facing todays generation of moms.

[Magic_Mikki]

Well said, Mcmama!

[mrmnmom82]

An angle I like to look at is, women that work because they want a career, not to pay the bills, want the career and the fullfilling home life, but I don't think we can have both at the same time. I decided to stay at home after my second because I knew I wouldn't feel like I was doing my best at work or at home, I would feel pulled too many directions.

Women who work sometimes feel like they aren't giving the family everything they should be, women who stay at home sometimes feel like they aren't getting everything they need. It depends on where you are in your life, it may depend on your children's age, it depends on your financial situation. There are so many factors to take into consideration.

And some women get high and mighty about their choice, while others feel guilty about theirs. It's about doing what's right for your family, and for you.

[purelegance]

well said mrmnmom, i completely agree.

[Magic_Mikki]

The other debate on this particular episode was about breastfeeding. One woman insisted that breastfeeding was THE only way, and she was soooo critical about those who bottle-fed! She said that the mothers who bottle feed should feel like horrible moms because they deprive their babies of 95% of things that babies need from a feeding. Unbelieveable!! Her kids are around 7-9 years old, and they are still breastfed, so I'm not so sure I would want to take into consideration anything she has to say!

[Tracey with 6]

the breastfeeding is a completly different topic, on the original topic. I am a sahm who sometimes does part time or casual work , it helps our life style , but I am mainly at home due to the umber of kids I'd have to put in day care!