[Hurt]

I recently got married a year and a half ago. I was 23, and my husband was 21. We dated for 2 years before. And we decided to marry, now becuz of our relgions belifes we were not sexually active during the courtship. But the wedding came and went and we settled into marriage. But it was rocky, alot like the dating period. Fights and arguing. Not always... but regular. Now im the type of person to brush it off. But hes sensitive and awlays would leave for a while or the night and go to a friends, However never came and talked things out with me afterwards. So I assumed everything was ok.
Now he has left for good. He moved into his parents and wants the marriage to end. He says he cant take it and just wants out. I love my husband more then words can say. I want my marriage to work and I would do anything. However when we talk he says theres nothing i can do. Hes not listening to reason from me or others. Hes ignoring everyone and hiding out in his parents basement so to speak.
Hes played World of WarCraft consistantly throughout the marrige and just wasnt emotionaly connected. Im sad and hurt. I want to work it out and wondering if hes depressed....and possibly with time he'll come around? Hes been gone almost 2 months. Im still living in our home. I have not been contacting him at all. maybe only twice in the time hes been gone. Im giving him the space he needs. It just happend so fast.

[ruthann8]

Marriage can be very difficult and it seems as if your husband has given up. You can give him all the time and space he needs but you can’t guarantee he will eventually want the relationship to work. He could in 2 months, 10-20 years during a midlife crisis, or never. You just never know. Try to get counseling for both of you. If he won’t you should still go. I hope you are able to work things out.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board, Hurt!

Sounds like a marriage counselor is the best way.
Both of you should go together, if that is possible.

What a shame that he is staying w/ his parents, hiding.

Marriage has it ups and downs. Through thick and thin.

Keep us posted on how things are going.

[jpolson]

Hurt...I know that you should go to counseling, but lets also face something else here. He is 2 years younger and although at older ages that might work, but right now he is a little immature. WoW all the time? My teen does that. Give him his space. If it ends in divorce this time and it was meant to be, stay in touch, be his friend, hang out (but do not give him sex afterward, just because you were married once and you did, no no no) Like I said, if it is meant to be, when he has had a chance to "find himself" and knows what is truely important to him in life he will come back and by then IF you are still available he will be ready and will be a great husband. If you are not, oh well, you have moved on and been smart.
I really wish you the best and although you are hurting now it does get better.

[Samual]

Were you friends before you started dating? If not thats only three and a half years you've known each other, when you are young to change a lot, he wouldn't be the same person at 19 and 21. Has he told you the problems he has and his reasons for leaving? You say you argue a lot, have you managed to reduce your arguments, he may be sick of them and think that isn't going to change.

Have you noticed a mood change in him since you have been together?

[oweirdo]

I got married at 18, my DH was 18 as well. when our daughter was 2, we were maybe 20 he freaked out. One night he moved us out, no warning that I saw at the time. He was scared of his new life, kinda missed his freedom. It was hard on me, very very hard. But after a few weeks he realized what was important, that was a changing point in our marriage. I am not making any promises for your marriage, but sometimes men freak out after a few years. Sometimes they snap out of it, sometimes they don't.
To me he is hiding, not just from you, from everything, feelings, love, pain. Life in games is fun, real life is not always fun. its easy to slip into a game and forget whats going on, time flies by, to him it may only be a few weeks, not months. I think you have to pull him out the the game, and make him listen to you for just a few minutes. tell him what you have told us, tell him either you work on it or you have to end it. You should not be drug along living life waiting on him.

[oweirdo]

sorry but had to add, you say he always left for the night after a fight, that is very unhealthy. Maybe he has always been hiding from you, and life. That is one rule in our house never ever leave mad, and always talk it out. We dont let it sit over night, we make it right before we sleep.

[kate_spencer]

If you're not talking or trying to solve your problems after you argued about it.. that's really unhealthy. They're right about your husband, he's still immature. Get you parent's and his parent's help, they know more how to handle this.. especially his parents.
Suggest counseling too, it could also be a big help for saving your marriage.
I've been reading articles on this site, and I want to share one to you.. here it is:
How a Fresh Start can Save a Marriage from Separation

I hope it gets better to you and your husband..